except you.

have you ever felt like you are never good enough?

that someone had received the handbook of life except you?

two weeks of my 'true summer holiday' i realize i need to do something and told myself that i need to change to someone better. a better version of me.

i eventually realize i look at all the small failures and make them bigger than they actually are. its a mindset that i used to think and blame myself for that tiny little mistake. i kept blaming myself for not achieving the same level as how others did. and the most ironic thing i discovered is that those things i thought were my biggest imperfection are actually my greatest gift.

people often said about the fear of failure. but, after thinking of what I've been doing for the past years i am not afraid of failure. in fact, i made myself clear that i wont fail but at the end i failed. but, failure isn't gonna define your future. remember 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'.

sometimes i just have to accept failure as an inevitable challenge that i would have to face every once in a while in my life. you're not gonna always be at the top all the time isn't it? true it was a painful experience, but it helped me to do better in the future. so that i am aware of the mistakes that i did that cause me the failure and repair those mistakes and not to do it again in the future.

there are times when i blame myself and i can't accept the fact that i gave my best but i failed. but the truth is, i have to accept that all my attempts to achieve an aim were unsuccessful not failed. it is better if i tried but failed and i overcome the failure and turned it into a success or regret not to have tried at all or regret to stay on the ground after a failure.

it's my life. my choice. my decision.